The Church today is facing a very serious
problem. There wages from different corners of society serious injury to the
most basic building block of community life – family.
The church has always held this post for a
Christian, to have a family, to be very hard. The apostles would even suggest
that it is better for a Christian to instead stay single rather than to find
for himself or herself a husband or a wife. The apostles even released letters
to different Christian communities founded around Jerusalem to guide those who
have chosen the life of marriage so as for them to lead their life more
orderly. The best example for this is the letter of Paul to Corinth where he
made his statement about staying single and some remarks on how a widow, a
married man and a married woman would behave.
I think that the difficulty arises from the
different roles and obligations somebody has to perform when he is in that
state. Apart from his self needs, a married man or woman has also the
obligation to perform obligations which should make his partner happy. Which
means, then that the obligations for these people are multiplied.
Aside from the wife or the husband to serve
as part of the obligation and role in marriage, they also have the further
obligation for their kids. In the family come values instilled in the still
innocent minds of the young. In the family comes the character that the
individual may possess in his whole life. It is where the very basic tenets of
life come. Some would say it is our first school with our parents as our first
teacher. That would precisely be it.
What I am tomorrow is because of what I am
learning today in my family. My character, my values, my path is because of the
kind of family I belong to. It is from my family that I took the discipline
which will become my arm against the world.
But, there is one thing which binds why we
learn it all. One powerful thing we can only get authentically in our family. It
is as if all the things we have because of the family branches because of this
thing which binds a family – Love.
Some would say that what we say of love is
because of the love that we experience. It is not learnt, it is felt and it is
best felt in the warmth of the family. We can never know what love is if we
will never know it from our family.
Sadly today, this experience of love is
making its end. Not because that there is no more love but because of the
attacks that is being made to that which is the source of our experience of
love.
We come to know now attacks from many parts
of the society. Lately, grudges in the family are not anymore settled. Instead,
they end not the grudges but the end the family. It is becoming more and more
easier to tell a husband or a wife to end a relationship. It is becoming more
and more easier to decide for a husband or a wife to split without thinking of
the children that they have and the government would even support it.
The government whose ideals are to uphold
the family for being the nucleus of the society is becoming more and more ready
to split a family.
I think that the problem with husbands and
wives today as to why they are becoming more and more ready to split is because
they have lost that sense of astonishment. They have succumb more and more to
intellectualize everything and forgotten that original feeling of mystery. They
have forgotten to live out that sense of wonder in the things that is happening
because of the workings of a mystery – Love.
In this age of unlimited, we have thought
that everything could only be an option. After failing at one thing, we will
run and chose the other thing. We will prefer choosing again, hoping that we
may mask the past with the future when in fact we are just wasting our time and
fooling ourselves.
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